“għamilt ħażin li tkellimt bl-Ingliż”

The country fills with billboards of the Maltese flag, in the letter box lies a flyer from a self-acclaimed “defender of Malta”, at debates we’re asked how we’ll save the Maltese language (from who?) and support Maltese culture, at an event at Junior College a student gives me a telling-off for answering some questions in English.

I know that my surname puts people off. I had an online argument about my surname recently, since I’m Maltese and it’s listed on a Maltese passport – doesn’t that make my surname Maltese too? My friend disagreed. I speak in Maltese as much as I can, yet my accent as I speak it is foreign. Still after a day speaking Maltese, when I get home and switch to English, my English sounds Maltese.

I grew up speaking English and Italian at home. I learned Maltese at school, scared to mispronounce words, I barely spoke it unless asked to read a page from a book. I passed my o-level thanks to a love for literature and poetry, that remains to today. Eventually, with time, and patience I started speaking Maltese. I tackled it like I did foreign languages. If I could learn German watching TV series and listening to music, then surely I could greatly improve my Maltese by watching films?

But they were nowhere to be found. So I bulk downloaded episodes from Campus FM on Maltese political history and linguistics onto an MP3 player, and would listen to them on repeat, they took up just a small amount of space on the drive. But so many of the programs were about religion that I had no interest to listen to them.

When people ask about Maltese culture, they imply traditional village feasts and hunting. What about investing in Maltese films? Music? That also tell stories about Malta. What about investing in good quality non formal Maltese programs that could expose people to the language? That represent and reflect the diversity of who we are? Whether that means we speak Maltese as a second or third language, or that we’re atheist, or LGBTQI, or migrated here as children, or moved here later in life…

I love gray areas. But many people don’t. It’s always black or white for most people. Or rather, red or blue… But there’s always green.